Nothing and no one could fill the place Pete occupied in my heart while he was here on Earth. He lived with me for nearly 25 years, something I was very happy about, as I loved him dearly.
Pete was a joy to me, a happy child, an exceptional teenager, and an intelligent and charming young man. He was fun to be with, loving, happy, kind, caring, well adjusted. He had a zest for life. During his 25 years in the Family, Pete loved Jesus. He expressed that love in his service to the Lord in so many ways. He loved and cared for those around him. I was proud of him for the decisions he made when he was with me, for the love he gave to me as a son, and the care he bestowed upon his sister Techi and his friends. That was my Pete, a son whom I love deeply.
As we all know, before his death, he did a terrible and a seemingly unforgivable thing. I know, however, that Jesus died for our sins, no matter how horrible the sin. Jesus died for Pete, too. Jesus forgives him. Although he made some decisions in the last portion of his life that have greatly saddened me and those he loved, I know that he is now in a place where he can find rest and peace. I know that Angela, who is now in Heaven and wonderfully happy, forgives him, and I forgive him too.
When I think about Pete I try not to dwell on the tragic ending. I choose to remember the good and wonderful beginning. I choose to think about the joy I felt when he was born, when he was a young child, watching him grow up and learn about life. I choose to think of the years of his life that are filled with so many happy memories. I choose to think of the way he loved me and his father and how he manifested his love through his loving words and deeds. I choose to think of him with his friends and the happy times I saw them have together. I choose to think of the joy it was to see him in love with his lovely wife. I have so many happy memories as Pete's mother, and this is how I choose to remember him.
I know that passing on from this world is not the end for my son, it's only the beginning. Now Pete, having received God's irrevocable gift of eternal salvation as a child, can begin to see clearly. Now he can lay his burdens at Jesus' feet. He can let Jesus' Spirit of love wash over him. He can find forgiveness through his repentance and through the time of learning and rehabilitation that takes place in Heaven for those in need of it. Now he can start the journey to a bright new beginning. When I think of Pete, I think of him in his new life in Heaven. I don't remember him for his mistakes on Earth.
Following are some short excerpts of a few assurances Jesus gave to me through prophecy concerning Pete's passing:
"I want to help you to see things the way that I see them, so that it may comfort your heart. I want you to know and understand what is happening. The darkness has been overcome by My light. I've erased the anger, the pain, and confusion Pete felt. Now he is discovering what he has desired all along. Now he is in a position where he can learn and grow and further develop the gifts and talents that I gave him from the beginning."
"Do not let your heart be troubled. I cause all things to work together for good for those who love Me. I bring light where there is darkness. I bring healing where there is hurt. I bring relief where there is pain. I bring clarity where there is confusion. I bring peace where there is turmoil. I bring happiness where there is sorrow. All of life's joys and blessings come from Me, and these do not end when this life draws to a close, but rather they continue and abound in the life that lies beyond."
"Pete is in My realm, the realm of light and truth, the realm of healing. There is much for him to learn, and as he learns he will find relief, clarity, peace and joy. He is in My hands and I will care for him, for he is My child."
While I have shed many tears because of my son's passing, and the details surrounding it, I also rejoice in knowing that he has been released. He has gone on to a better place--a place of peace, a place of understanding, a place of spiritual growth. I find comfort in knowing as the Bible promises, that in Heaven "God shall wipe away all tears ... and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. (Revelation 21:4)
Pete, dear son, I know that now all of your longings and desires can be fulfilled by the One Who loves you even more than I do. You are in a wonderful place, where our dear Jesus will help you to understand the things you didn't understand on Earth. Knowing that you're surrounded by His unconditional love and acceptance makes me happy and at peace. I know He'll take care of you for me--and for all of those who love you--until we meet again.